Amazing Grace

Here I am several months later, seeing my kiddos again! This time ALL of them (once Monday gets here and Liz arrives with her family). We're all gathering for Sarah's wedding to Paul. There is a grace - I can feel it. I believe the grace of this sacrament extends in a special way to the whole family. In addition, I can feel God's pleasure in a real, tangible way - just like I did last year when Joe and Liz were married. What a blessing.

Seeing My Kiddos

So I just left Michigan where I was helping Liz and Joe move. I miss them all already! Here is Margot helping Daddy.

And Margot taking a break with Mommy.

And then here is one of about 20 pictures that Margot took when she silently made off with Nana's phone.

Now I'm waiting at the convent in Boston (along with Chris) for Sr. Theresa Aletheia to arrive from Miami. She's moving back to the motherhouse! And she will accompany us to our nephew's wedding on Sunday. Happy, happy, joy, joy!

I was looking for one of my posts and ended up scrolling through my blog history. I truly loved blogging. Really I should say I loved writing, whether about me or politics or stuff, it was a great method for getting my thoughts out in a structured way (a miracle for an ENFP personality). I'm trying to analyze the patterns related to the blogging roller coaster, but it's making me sad. It seems to be stress related and even when I make major life decisions to avoid stress, I sometimes end up with more.

Anyway, one of the benefits of returning to blogging would be using this as my platform for political ranting rather than Facebook. Here I'm on my turf and readers come voluntarily. Facebook feeds tend to stick peoples' opinions into readers' faces. Sure you can unfriend, but that comes with all the attendant "inner turmoil." This all relates especially to pro-life ranting because I'm fully aware that more than 25% of the female population have had an abortion, so thrusting my opinions in those women's faces is just cruel.

Abortion has been on my mind a lot lately because of the Planned Parenthood undercover videos that have been coming out. Talking about turmoil! It's been turmoil in my mind, wondering how we have allowed ourselves as a country to get to the point where something so egregious can be basically ignored. More on that later. Maybe.

One more thing. My Blog Title has been hijacked by an HBO series about a transgender dad. If you landed on my blog while looking for the TV show, please... well, come on in and kick off your shoes and stay awhile. I'll put on some coffee and we can talk.

Running From Sainthood

Of this I am sure. I am not a saint. I might have had a chance at it if I had been willing to pray for it, but Mary Pat and I always agreed – “Are you kidding! Why in the hell would I pray for any more suffering than life sends my way naturally?”

I did, finally, pray for it (not often, mind you, but I did do it). It was after I had come to a greater realization of how much God loves me. I can say now that I am as sure of His love as I was of my mother’s (and of that I was VERY sure). So whatever comes my way is fully enveloped in a love that surpasses all understanding and I'm all for that (now).

So if He can get it done in the short number of years I have left, then I am now a willing participant. But to get to this Oklahoman's level I may have to live way, way past 100.

Pope Francis and Our Lady

I have been blessed to have experienced the 33 Days to Morning Glory Retreat. I came to understand the Blessed Mother as the greatest of all of Jesus' disciples. Knowing her is knowing Him. Many of those who are saints, PJPII, Mother Teresa, Maximilian Kolbe, were mentored by her. This is a moving video of Pope Francis' visit to the shrine of Our Lady of Aparecida, the patron saint of Brazil. He insisted on adding this visit to his World Youth Day itinerary.

When the now-Pope and the ever-Virgin came face to face again, veteran Bergoglio-watchers said that his moments before the foot-high wooden statue made for "the most emotional" they've ever seen him. Breaking his now-familiar form, Francis zipped past the shrine's Redemptorist priests to make it to the Madonna, needing to be prodded by his entourage both to start saying the prayer he apparently wrote on his own and – caught in an apparent trance – to depart after offering it.

And this is the beautiful prayer he wrote for this moment:

Mother Aparecida, today I feel like you once did before your God and mine, who proposes for our lives a mission whose contours and limits we ignore, whose demands we only glimpse. Yet in your faith that "nothing is impossible with God," O Mother, you did not hesitate, and so I cannot hesitate. "Behold the handmaid of the Lord! Let it be done unto me according to your word!" In this way, O Mother, like you, I embrace my mission. Into your hands I put my life and we will – you-mother and me-son – we will walk together, believe together, fight together, win together as your Son and you always walked together. "Woman, behold your son! Son, behold your mother!" Mother Aparecida, You once took your Son to the Temple to consecrate him to the Father, that he might be fully available for the mission which awaited him. Lift me up today to the same Father, consecrate me to him, all that I am and all that I have. "Here I am! Send me!" Mother Aparecida, I put in your hands, and so take to the Father, our and your youth, and World Youth Day: so much strength, so much life, so much dynamism sprouting and bursting, which can be at service of life, of mankind. "Father, welcome and sanctify your youth!" Finally, O Mother, we ask you: stay here, always welcoming your son and daughter pilgrims, but also come with us, be always by our side and go along with us, the great family of your devotees, in our own missions: especially when the cross weighs heavy, sustain our hope and our faith. "Keep faithful, and I will give you the crown of life. Amen!"

Why I Am Catholic

At one of my favorite websites, Patheos, all the writers from the different isms are being asked to answer Why I Am ______ in 200 words or less.

I thought I would take a shot at it as well.

I am Catholic because I’ve been blessed to have thousands of ancestors over the centuries pass the baton of faith to me. A baton that was, at different times, shining, battered, tear-laden, and glorious, from people who were saintly, sinful, persecuted, and determined. I received that baton-gift and felt compelled (if only because it was the 70's) to examine it closely and eventually reject it. I returned after sitting in church one day, sad and confused, where I heard an almost audible voice say from the crucifix, "This is My Church."

Despite years of serious efforts to convince me otherwise, including the horrendous abuse scandals, I have clung to this gift and done my best to pass the baton to the next generation. I encouraged my children, as they did their own questioning, to analyze the world views from which they could choose. Look carefully at their families – after two or more generations raised with a particular ism. Look at their “saints” – people who have lived that ism to the fullest. Look at their dying. Look at how their weakest, most vulnerable are treated. Look at the marriages of those who have lived their tenants. I could say that with a confidence that made me want to shout my gratitude to all who had gone before me.

We'll Know We're Doing Right if We're Taking Care of the Children

Every time we have a tragedy like this all the talking heads demand that something be done and it never is. The Republicans blame the lack of prayer in school and the Democrats blame the lack of gun control. Tonight the President called for a more lasting response. At the Newtown Memorial Service he said, "We know we’re always doing right when we’re taking care of (the children)." Could that be a rally cry? Is this something, finally, that we can agree on as a nation? Is there an energy rising from this horrific event that can create unified change where nothing else could?

We don't need either / or - we need both. Why in the hell are assault weapons legal? Whether or not one was used in Newtown, we can start there. The issue of mental illness is a huge one and this woman doesn't know the solution, but she sure paints a powerful picture of the problem. I'll focus here mostly on the culture because, well, I'm a Republican. And because we've had mentally ill people since time began, but they didn't shoot classrooms filled with children. We can gather all the weapons in America, throw them into the ocean and we're still going to have an increasingly decadent, degrading culture impacting our children every minute of every day.

Years ago, before there were blogs, when the only way to communicate ideas to the world was via articles, I wrote one about our nation's dwindling focus on sustaining a culture that is mentally and spiritually healthy for our children. "It seems," I wrote, "That we care more about the environment of the spotted owl than we do that of our children." Several years before the former first lady's book, the title of the article was "It Takes a Village to Raise a Child." And I wasn't talking about a lack of accountability for parents (which was the critique conservatives had of Hilary's book), but an increased accountability for all.

There was a time, for instance, when all the TV networks agreed to have family hours before 9:00 each night where only family-friendly content could be aired. Now at any hour of the day the air waves are filled with content that is violent, provocative, debasing. The violence is nothing like the violence of my childhood. It involves not just blood and killing, but degradation - dehuminization of the victims. Each day through television, video games and the internet, kids are exposed to more sex and violence than I was exposed to in my first (good Lord I keep writing decades here and they're too low) 40 (!) years.

I don't believe that the best parents today can protect their children from experiences that will at best cause them to lose their innocence and at worst invade their soul with a view of other humans as expendable, worthless objects of pleasure with targets on their foreheads. THEY NEED HELP! The raising of good citizens is the most important activity occurring in our nation and we're making their job more difficult with every passing year.

For instance, how about instead of making hard working families pay to protect their children from crap on the internet, we charge those who want to see it? And then find increasingly ironclad ways to secure internet browsing for children. Sure, the kids can find a way around it, but since when is that a reason not to take precautions? Do we leave our doors wide open to our homes because thieves are going to get in no matter how many precautions we take? No, we put up barriers because they deter, slow down, increase the possibility that someone will show up to stop it.

What are all the ways that parents use to raise virtuous, loving citizens? Is it, for instance, sending them to private or home-based schools? Determine those and protect the hell out of them.

Instead of giving in to the increasingly hateful and aggressive secularists and marginalizing people of faith we need to remember that despite all its flaws, a Christian-infused Western Civilization managed to support the raising of some pretty decent societies and individuals over the centuries while Godless, secular civilizations have already been tried and found devastatingly wanting.

Don't we all have some accountability for the environment we've allowed to devolve over the years that Adam Lanza was raised in? Don't we all have a responsibility to demand that it be de-toxified so that instead of chipping away at childen's souls it nurtures and cares for them like the precious future citizens they are? What else can we do? Think. You'll know it's right if we're taking care of the children.

Election Reflection

The election is over, results are in and I'm just now feeling less depressed. I was traveling for business and was gathered with co-workers in a breakfast room at a Comfort Inn in Parachute, CO to hear the results . Since oil and gas folks are generally pulling for Republicans we were all rooting for Romney. We went to our rooms once an Obama win seemed inevitable (despite a false positive from Karl Rove). For the next three days I was surrounded with people who all wanted to talk things through - it was very helpful.

Since I had to facilitate sessions the next two days I was forced to recover quickly. It pressed me toward God, who was more than willing to help.

My thoughts:

- First I realized that a move toward secularism in this country, and one that is profoundly anti-Catholic, may not be inevitable, but it certainly is probable. I felt deeply grateful. Of all the Christians throughout history, I've received the rare privilege of living in a time when both Church leadership and the culture around me supported me in my faith. The culture during the middle ages was Christian, but the Church leadership at that time was corrupt. In the early centruies the Church leadership was the strongest, but the culture was anything but friendly. Thank you, Lord. When I realize what a rare gift I've received, with Popes who heard you clearly, bishops who teach the truth forcefully (and lovingly), and an American culture that respected my faith and supported my values, I can no longer be angry that the gift is disappearing.

- I was able to hide from the "hurricane" named not Sandy but Obama. I pulled within, found God and really knew what Paul meant when he said:

Think of what is above, not of what is on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.

I truly believe God cared about the results of this election, but if Christ lived in our times, I also don't believe He would have been obsessed with the process, angry at all that is blue, or despairing at the results. I want to die, with my life hidden in Christ who is perfect, and respond instead of react.

- I will now detach from the process that I obsessed over - in a hopefully humble way rather than an angry detachment. I will turn toward what I can do. Instead of looking to the Supreme Court to reverse Roe v Wade, I'll get training to be a sidewalk counselor. Instead of seeing the HHS mandate reversed, I will continue to demonstrate for religious rights and conscience clauses.

God is good.

Thoughts at the Garden of Hope

I'm in my second hour at the Garden of Hope praying as a part of 40 Days for Life. Several things have struck me while here. First, we're in the 40th year since Roe v Wade. I remember working long hours to defeat Proposition B that sought to legalize abortion in Michigan back in 1972 and how appalled I was in January of the following year when the Supreme Court invalidated all our efforts by making abortion legal during all 9 months in all 50 states. I was devastated. I remember wanting to move to Canada. Here I sit 40 years later still fighting the devastating impact of that decision.

Despite the horrors that people are now aware of, despite ultrasounds that clearly show LIFE, despite many many women who describe the deep pain and scars they bear from their abortions, despite knowing that many people choose abortion because their babies are girls, others are forced into the decision, despite knowing abortions occur at 9 months where the standard procedure is to pull the baby's head out of the birth canal and then STAB HIM OR HER IN THE NECK WITH SCISSORS!!!!!!

Despite all this, here we are with a president who doesn't even support keeping a baby alive who is born via a botched abortion, who promised fewer abortions in his 2008 campaign and in 2012 invites the president of Planned Parenthood to give a keynote speech at his convention, who feels totally confident that showcasing abortion in his campaign will gain him votes. Wake up Democrats. Ask the difficult questions instead of turning a blind eye. Are you willing to look at pictures? Why not? To those who are at least somewhat pro-life but continue to support the Democratic Party - are you willing to face the number of abortions that have occurred under a Democratic president that WOULD NOT have occurred under a Republican? What has to happen to give this issue a face? How can we as a society fill the air waves with commercials to save dogs and cats while close to a million humans lose their lives each year (and we ban commercials that even hint at the benefits of saving them).

And now to another thought that hit me powerfully as I was praying. I wondered how much all the prayers and actions over the years might have saved one very special baby...

whether her mommy might have been influenced by those prayers or possibly impacted by tagging along with her dad and me while we prayed outside abortion clinics over the years... so that years later when she found herself single and pregnant, she took the courageous and difficult road and blessed us and the world with Eleanor Charlotte. And I cried.

My Sister the Author

I'm so proud of my sister who recently e-published the first book of her Saginaw Series. They're sweet stories that take place in our hometown and are filled with familiar places and faces (including my daughter Sarah who starts her own bakery!!).

Here is the review I wrote for Amazon:

I loved the characters in this book. I felt like I knew and liked them right away. I read it out loud to my daughter and we were intrigued from the first sentence. I like the way the author combined the present day with a more nostalgic, sweet, and innocent time of long ago (I could tell because I'm a native of Saginaw and recognized the long-gone Bertie's Bakery and Webber House). The result is a story for today's kids that shows them a life they can choose to have if they put away the video games! I also like the integration of spirituality into the book. It's a part of the girls' lives and never seems contrived or off-putting. The life the author presents is inviting in every way, from the beautiful relationships that include friendship, romance and an abiding sense of community to the loving but real families. I highly recommend this book, especially as a read aloud with your daughter or granddaughter!

Go here to order it (only 99 cents!). And here to download a Kindle for PC's (free!). Congratulations, sis! Love you! :)

The Future?

"I expect to die in bed, my successor will die in prison and his successor will die a martyr in the public square" -Cardinal George of Chicago

To have my gut feel spelled out like a prophecy is a little disconcerting. We're living in difficult times.

Laughter of the Purest and Most Liberating Kind

A beautiful meditation from my favorite online prayer spot, Sacred Space.

"A physicist once gave me the ‘Ladybird’ version of electrons. He emphasised that reality as we know it is marvellously interconnected. Electrons at either end of the universe vibrate in synchronicity with one another. ‘So true is this’ he said ‘that we can’t understand anything by itself, but only in its connectedness. read more... Everything is somehow in touch with everything else. And everyone is linked with everyone else, past, present and future. This means that only when the last of us has been gathered in will we know the full story of the human race. Think of history as being a bit like a cosmic joke: while you’re telling a joke, people are puzzled. They wonder how the story is going to work out. Only with the punch line do they get the point and laugh.’ So with the human story: we must be patient. God indeed exists, but so also does dreadful evil. God works within what is bad to bring good out of it. We see this in the Passion with the eyes of faith. What was the worst of Fridays becomes Good Friday only because of the love involved. This love cuts across the downward spiral of evil, sin and death and it opens up to us God’s world, a new world of freedom and love. At the end we will see how love has transformed all the sorrow and pain and tragedy of our story. Only then will the laughter begin, laughter of the purest and most liberating kind. This laughter will be led by the three divine Persons who always intended that things would end well and who laboured mightily to bring this about. ‘Blessed are you who weep now, for you will laugh’ (Luke 6:21)."

And one more thing - I bet this caused laughter of the purest and most liberating kind - a true vocation in the making.

Happy Easter

At Easter, on the morning of the first day of the week, God said once again: “Let there be light”. The night on the Mount of Olives, the solar eclipse of Jesus’ passion and death, the night of the grave had all passed. Now it is the first day once again – creation is beginning anew. “Let there be light”, says God, “and there was light”: Jesus rises from the grave. Life is stronger than death. Good is stronger than evil. Love is stronger than hate. Truth is stronger than lies. The darkness of the previous days is driven away the moment Jesus rises from the grave and himself becomes God’s pure light. Pope Benedict's Easter Vigil Homily

Holy Thursday

I sat in the quiet church as the clock inched closer to midnight. It was Holy Thursday and the tradition of “spending one hour” with the Lord was coming to a close. The Cathedral had been open since seven, with people from every walk of life coming to kneel before the tabernacle and try, like the apostles, to stay awake as a comfort to Jesus. Did He know, more than 2000 years ago in that garden that we would be here tonight? Did He glean some small comfort from knowing it? Surely that is not outside the possibility for the Son of God.

As I sit in my pew I imagine myself in the garden – the exact garden that I visited just this past year with my husband and daughter as we toured the Holy Land. Somehow that reach across space many months before, enabled a stunning reach across time tonight and suddenly I was there. Sitting in the garden, watching, waiting. The wind howling outside my Tulsa church became the sound effects for the dark garden, illuminated only with a large full moon that any other night might look pleasant, but this night looked somehow ominous. The Asian man who was sitting in the pew in front of me, saying his prayers out loud, transformed from being an irritant to a part of the bustling and whispering of the other apostles. Here I am, Lord. More than any time in my life, aware that I would have fallen asleep as the apostles did that night, just as I know now that I, too, would have denied you three times. But tonight, in my Tulsa-Jerusalem, knowing how much you need my presence, I can remain awake and gaze, riveted, upon the image of your agony. Just sit. Be here. Knowing that you know.

Silent No More

Such a nice relaxing day! I pretty much gave myself the day off. It started with our scheduled time at St. John's adoration, followed by Mass, then Sarah and I went to a pro-life breakfast at St. Madelene's where we saw old friends and met new ones. We heard Georgette Fornay speak who founded the Silent No More organization - the group behind the "I Regret My Abortion" signs that can be seen at rallies. I remember when abortion was being sold to the nation (literally - did you know that Hugh Hefner funded the lower court costs for Roe v. Wade? Sex without consequences is imperative for the Playboy philosophy to work.). The promise was that child abuse would decrease since every child would be a wanted child. Here are the national Child Abuse Report statistics since 1976 (Roe v. Wade was decided in 73):

In case you're wondering if it was reporting that increased and not the abuse, here are the statistics for the number of child deaths per day due to child abuse or neglect going back to 1995.

So could it be possible that "every child being a wanted child" was outweighed by the effect abortion had on how we view our "ownership" of that small life? If I am able to make a decision to terminate my pregnancy, what does that, on a deep level, tell me about my power over that life? Once born, do I suddenly view my power differently just because the law says I should?

I Love Families

I love everything about families (OK, almost). It was one of God's most creative and sweet ideas. Here's a site with 50 outstanding family photos. Some of my favorites:

Blogroll

I came across this beautiful essay on St. Theresa and decided I now have too many websites that I like to visit regularly. I can't remember them all and no, Favorites, are not a solution. Does anyone else have this problem with Favorites? They're so over-run, so unorganized, so filled with old sites that are no longer favored! Then I realized...that's why people have Blogrolls on their blogs. Not so much for other people, but for themselves to have a quick and easy way to find their favorite sites! So I will now build one.

Talimena

Chris and I spent the weekend on the Talimena Scenic Byway. It's only 3 hours from Tulsa and yet we said to each other a number of times, "I can't believe this is the first time we've come here!" The scenes were breathtaking. God's wonder, displayed as only the True Artist can. The pictures don't do it justice. Suffice to say we were ready to go again this weekend (and take Sarah with us), but thunderstorms are predicted for Southeast OK. BUT we may have my sis and her hubbie talked into coming down for it next year!! Right, mesc?

And we'll stay at Queen Wilhelmina Lodge:

Right, Mary Ellen?

Hmmm...

It's funny how the people I introduced to blogging, like Mary Ellen and Lisa, blog all the time and yet I can't seem to get back into it. I used to love blogging. Anyway. Here I sit listening to George Winston, Enya and John Michael Talbot (playlist.com) while Sarah is baking a cake. She's trying out recipes and I get to be the delighted tester!! :) However! I just received this:

so I don't want to have happen what USUALLY happens when Sarah comes home and bakes things like this: .

This one was for her friend Amy - for her birthday. Here's one she baked for me:

Isn't she talented? Chris just sat down to watch the OU game he recorded and discovered that it didn't record. And guess whose fault it is!!! I saw it was recording on ESPN too so I removed the ABC recording......only to find out that ESPN was blocked out. I remember back in Steubenville I was doing child care at the Cowen's house and noticed their VCR (remember those?) was on. So I did them a favor and turned it off :). It was Super Bowl Sunday. And their team was in it.

Why I Am Catholic 2

World Youth Day. What an inspired and brilliant idea JPII had - to bring young people together from all over the world to pray, learn, and meet with the Holy Father. My own WYD experience was life changing when I went to Rome in 2000 with Sarah and Elizabeth.

Each of our five children went to at least one: Theresa and David(Denver and Paris), Liz and Sarah (Rome) and Mary (Cologne). It was a mission of ours to make sure that each one had an opportunity to go. The strongest message that came across to them, I believe, was how much they, as young people, were loved by the Pope. I remember the air ringing with "JP2 we love you!!" and hearing him respond with "JP2 he loves you too!" The world finds this so difficult to believe. An 80+ year old man being treated like a rock star. The media said it was because JP was so charismatic. Then he died and in his place was a man the media portrayed as a vicious rotweiller, one who searched and destroyed heretics. How many will show for this man? Instead we found a humble, joyful, and loving Pope Benedict. He went to his native Germany (chosen as the location of the 2005 WYD long before he was elected) and greeted one of the largest gatherings - 1.2 million. Now how do we explain it?

There were more than a million at many of the WYDs (5 million in Manila) which take place every 2 (now 3) years. There were 2 million + in Rome - when I looked out over the University of Rome I could see young people as far as the eye could see. Young people singing and smiling. Such a contrast to what we saw in Britain this past month

And this year in Spain, a country where most people see their Catholicism as a long forgotten heritage - the crowds are huge again - 1.5 mm. Just when the world might have been convinced the church is dying - when the sins of its leaders seemed to overshadow all that is good and holy and profound. We see gathered the church's future - vibrant, joyful and in love - listening intently to the beautiful words of "Benedicto" meant just for them in times such as these:

We, on the other hand, know well that we have been created free, in the image of God, precisely so that we might be in the forefront of the search for truth and goodness, responsible for our actions, not mere blind executives, but creative co-workers in the task of cultivating and beautifying the work of creation. God is looking for a responsible interlocutor, someone who can dialogue with him and love him. Through Christ we can truly succeed and, established in him, we give wings to our freedom. Is this not the great reason for our joy? Isn’t this the firm ground upon which to build the civilization of love and life, capable of humanizing all of us?